YES I DO PLAY TAROT, and please do not bug me to read it for you as I'm still a noob in reading tarot. Every morning I will sayang my cards then take one piece out and READ~ it was always a guideline for me to start off my day ... maybe carefully. =D
It was so happen that was the day I call it off the relationship again, seriously..... maybe?
The Golden Scarab appear to be the guideline for the day. This card carry the meaning of suspension or intuition of danger. I was thinking of our relation of course, and yet soon in that evening i call our relation off..... you're bored, same goes to me.
Today I woke up late and went for my Materials Science class late.......for the 9th time or more?
I never keep track of it anyways, and with 4 reports haven started, 2 incomplete reports (which went circulating around the class) and 2 complete reports that need to be submitted by tomorrow.... yet I am here blogging, chatting and even Facebooking.
Time for reports..... ( 2 more ^^v) Nitez
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
29 / 12 / 2009
Failure is one of the most common thing happen to me always. Yet each time we get back and break, we don't seem to realize the mistake we did. But as for today, I call it off, I guess forever? or soon. You keep saying that you needed me, yet get bored of the relationship, though it's my fault, yet you keep blaming me for everything even though you FUCKING DID IT YOURSELF.
I losses myself, my friends, my time for you. Yet what did I get in return? A break up? I actually thinks that we will be better in future but you said, memories hunting you... and yet keep using it to dump me aside , and when you are so damn down , you came back to me, and soon dump me again, making me look stupid in front of my friends.
I just wants to ask you this;
Am I a just a TOY that was bought from SOMEWHERE CHEAP that became BORED to you?
You are so selfish and only cared about yourself neglecting what does other feels. Everything must do it YOUR way, what you did is ALWAYS RIGHT, and IF NOT you will be mad even for a small matter. You don't even let anything goes into your mind when you lost your stupid TEMPER, and this keep on making me thinks that you just have not reach the maturity level yet, still a small kid who will get upset when lost a toy.
You got back with me YESTERDAY and today I call it off, as you said... you got bored. You don't even need me when you got someone else there. So what for I accepted you and have to suffer later on. Some more I do not even have friends to trust and share all my problems to, as I keep all in me. Yet all this problem now can be shared trough my blog since I made it into private , not much people will notice my blog anyway~
I losses myself, my friends, my time for you. Yet what did I get in return? A break up? I actually thinks that we will be better in future but you said, memories hunting you... and yet keep using it to dump me aside , and when you are so damn down , you came back to me, and soon dump me again, making me look stupid in front of my friends.
I just wants to ask you this;
Am I a just a TOY that was bought from SOMEWHERE CHEAP that became BORED to you?
You are so selfish and only cared about yourself neglecting what does other feels. Everything must do it YOUR way, what you did is ALWAYS RIGHT, and IF NOT you will be mad even for a small matter. You don't even let anything goes into your mind when you lost your stupid TEMPER, and this keep on making me thinks that you just have not reach the maturity level yet, still a small kid who will get upset when lost a toy.
You got back with me YESTERDAY and today I call it off, as you said... you got bored. You don't even need me when you got someone else there. So what for I accepted you and have to suffer later on. Some more I do not even have friends to trust and share all my problems to, as I keep all in me. Yet all this problem now can be shared trough my blog since I made it into private , not much people will notice my blog anyway~
Sunday, December 27, 2009
27 / 12 / 2009
I miss you,
I need you,
I love you?
It is true that we both need each other?
I felt it is strange when we are now apart
You don't trust me anymore
What the meaning of LOVE
Where there is no trust left.
I thought before Christmas eve, we can get back together
Celebrating Christmas together
But all these is just a fantasy which did not happen
You were bored in the relationship
Memories hunting you
Why do you still wants me back
When you can't let all this go?
It is you wants me to be with you?
And ignore all my friends for you?
We are not together as you told your friends
When you chat with your new friend
So why bother to care me?
Let me have my life back
So I can really be myself back
A freethinker.
You said you don't want to contact me
Cause I don't want to follow your order
To me,
Although it is hurting,
I felt that ARE you really mature?
In Love?
If even you need me,
I will try not to let me need you anymore
I'm really scared of repeating history again.
I need you,
I love you?
It is true that we both need each other?
I felt it is strange when we are now apart
You don't trust me anymore
What the meaning of LOVE
Where there is no trust left.
I thought before Christmas eve, we can get back together
Celebrating Christmas together
But all these is just a fantasy which did not happen
You were bored in the relationship
Memories hunting you
Why do you still wants me back
When you can't let all this go?
It is you wants me to be with you?
And ignore all my friends for you?
We are not together as you told your friends
When you chat with your new friend
So why bother to care me?
Let me have my life back
So I can really be myself back
A freethinker.
You said you don't want to contact me
Cause I don't want to follow your order
To me,
Although it is hurting,
I felt that ARE you really mature?
In Love?
If even you need me,
I will try not to let me need you anymore
I'm really scared of repeating history again.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
Stupid me
Ever since I got back with you again,
I felt myself has changed in the way of thinking.
Why I keep on thinking that there is something is blocking us.
Yet you keep on going out with your friends,
And ignored me.
At the end,
It make me jealous
And we argue ....
My role just like a girl... izzit?
But when I think back,
DO WE REALLY SPENT TIME TOGETHER WELL?
I don't really think so.
I always wanted to walk around a park,
Me and you,
During the night.
Peace
But I didn't get such walk for so long.
I want to watch movie with you,
But in the end you watched with someone else,
And I don't want to waste your money to accompany me,
As I used to be a loner in the cinema when I'm sad.
Now I felt something different with me,
It's like my emotions,
I can't control it anymore,
Can't fake out emotion well to cover up,
Can't think of my future anymore,
It's like I gave up my life.
Honestly, I enjoy your accompany,
But at the same time,
I am suffering.
I felt myself has changed in the way of thinking.
Why I keep on thinking that there is something is blocking us.
Yet you keep on going out with your friends,
And ignored me.
At the end,
It make me jealous
And we argue ....
My role just like a girl... izzit?
But when I think back,
DO WE REALLY SPENT TIME TOGETHER WELL?
I don't really think so.
I always wanted to walk around a park,
Me and you,
During the night.
Peace
But I didn't get such walk for so long.
I want to watch movie with you,
But in the end you watched with someone else,
And I don't want to waste your money to accompany me,
As I used to be a loner in the cinema when I'm sad.
Now I felt something different with me,
It's like my emotions,
I can't control it anymore,
Can't fake out emotion well to cover up,
Can't think of my future anymore,
It's like I gave up my life.
Honestly, I enjoy your accompany,
But at the same time,
I am suffering.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
07 Oct 2009
This moment, I will just try to be myself.
To hold on, continue hide my emotions,
where I will be no more be with you anymore,
all this while, i been so excited about you being around me,
and also worry,
of what?....
Hurting you again,
I should have not appear back into your life,
I should have not contact you that moment,
If i can , i would like to travel back in time,
stopping myself from sending a simple message,
that ruins both of our life,
even i still cant forget you that moment,
i believe that when i see your happy face,
i will too be happy together even though we aren't together
why? from yesterday i didnt cry...
and now i cant even stop crying?
why i cant always share the exact feeling that i facing to you and other?
im such a failure .... the biggest fool on earth..
i love you...
i miss you...
i need you...
but i know, there is other whom are better then me and can make you much more better then you being with me....
im so blur now...
help me
To hold on, continue hide my emotions,
where I will be no more be with you anymore,
all this while, i been so excited about you being around me,
and also worry,
of what?....
Hurting you again,
I should have not appear back into your life,
I should have not contact you that moment,
If i can , i would like to travel back in time,
stopping myself from sending a simple message,
that ruins both of our life,
even i still cant forget you that moment,
i believe that when i see your happy face,
i will too be happy together even though we aren't together
why? from yesterday i didnt cry...
and now i cant even stop crying?
why i cant always share the exact feeling that i facing to you and other?
im such a failure .... the biggest fool on earth..
i love you...
i miss you...
i need you...
but i know, there is other whom are better then me and can make you much more better then you being with me....
im so blur now...
help me
Sunday, September 27, 2009
My Today
It's a boring day for me
Yet a moody day
I feel like crying now
I don't even know what to do next
I failed to express my feelings
Yet a moody day
I feel like crying now
I don't even know what to do next
I failed to express my feelings
Monday, September 7, 2009
~(No Idea)~
Free day?
Nop,
Renovation interrupted my sweet sleep again.. and I'm freaking hungry rite now.
Too hungry until I don't even know what to do next.
Study?.. lazy la....
Actually I have no intension to score my subjects,
As long I pass the semester, I'm ok with it.
I don't really care much about it,
Cause MY OWN PERSONAL problem.
Sometimes I don't even sleep and waste my time doing nothing online,
Slumber around
And even damaged my lifestyle
Very rare people will notice the change in me
I assume non will notice it XD~
Hey any recommended sleeping pill?
I guess I might need one some day =D
Nop,
Renovation interrupted my sweet sleep again.. and I'm freaking hungry rite now.
Too hungry until I don't even know what to do next.
Study?.. lazy la....
Actually I have no intension to score my subjects,
As long I pass the semester, I'm ok with it.
I don't really care much about it,
Cause MY OWN PERSONAL problem.
Sometimes I don't even sleep and waste my time doing nothing online,
Slumber around
And even damaged my lifestyle
Very rare people will notice the change in me
I assume non will notice it XD~
Hey any recommended sleeping pill?
I guess I might need one some day =D
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Just a dream
When I was sleeping with YOU.
I dream of a month, December
Which was my favorite month of each year.
Not just because of my birthday...
Cause it is a free and easy month for me.
It was raining and cool breeze enter my house free and easy,
Everything was green,
As in my garden,
Plants in my room,
It was a perfect green house,
With various plants,
Green, My favorite color,
And siting on the couch,
It was you,
You were beautiful,
No one can compare what I seen,
Your beauty from inside till it shown,
Clearly against my naked eyes.
You told me something,
That really make me gay,
My mum standing there,
Speechless,
Looking at her son,
Together with you,
The joy that spread out,
Was a great news for my family,
Then I woke up,
And think back,
I was just a dream,
But I realize,
It can be true,
I and you together,
Till the end.
I dream of a month, December
Which was my favorite month of each year.
Not just because of my birthday...
Cause it is a free and easy month for me.
It was raining and cool breeze enter my house free and easy,
Everything was green,
As in my garden,
Plants in my room,
It was a perfect green house,
With various plants,
Green, My favorite color,
And siting on the couch,
It was you,
You were beautiful,
No one can compare what I seen,
Your beauty from inside till it shown,
Clearly against my naked eyes.
You told me something,
That really make me gay,
My mum standing there,
Speechless,
Looking at her son,
Together with you,
The joy that spread out,
Was a great news for my family,
Then I woke up,
And think back,
I was just a dream,
But I realize,
It can be true,
I and you together,
Till the end.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
DamN YOU flu~
This is the ever 1st time i'm having such flu during exam period ....
quite fun..
actually i more curious of what colour that H.E. ( HUBUNGAN ENTIK ) will be printed out and i might be quarantine for having such flu XD
Oh well if that happen i wish the whole DMT1 follow along~ XD
Lately my house renovation.... the noises non-stop flowing...drilling... trowing..and even shouting...and barking ( that is my chiwawa doing renovation in his cage )
My love still loyal to you..pingu.. but lately i felt something different in between us.. is like.. the feeling that i suppose to share with you have gone after you said something to me. its hurts me a lot... until now but i hid this feeling from you as i know you won't read my blog nor notice it
every time you were beside me.. i felt secure , happy , glad that you are here with me...
but why at that same time,
i felt cold and thinking when will it happen again?
that the answer i been looking for...
but yet i'm afraid to reveal it as i'm afraid knowing that i will lose you that moment i know that answer.
Flu Flu~ aww first time ever get a wonderful flu~
today i wish wont enter quarantine exam room or i will just sleep there for HE and later on resit for that paper~ XD
quite fun..
actually i more curious of what colour that H.E. ( HUBUNGAN ENTIK ) will be printed out and i might be quarantine for having such flu XD
Oh well if that happen i wish the whole DMT1 follow along~ XD
Lately my house renovation.... the noises non-stop flowing...drilling... trowing..and even shouting...and barking ( that is my chiwawa doing renovation in his cage )
My love still loyal to you..pingu.. but lately i felt something different in between us.. is like.. the feeling that i suppose to share with you have gone after you said something to me. its hurts me a lot... until now but i hid this feeling from you as i know you won't read my blog nor notice it
every time you were beside me.. i felt secure , happy , glad that you are here with me...
but why at that same time,
i felt cold and thinking when will it happen again?
that the answer i been looking for...
but yet i'm afraid to reveal it as i'm afraid knowing that i will lose you that moment i know that answer.
Flu Flu~ aww first time ever get a wonderful flu~
today i wish wont enter quarantine exam room or i will just sleep there for HE and later on resit for that paper~ XD
Friday, July 24, 2009
IT THE 9TH WEEK!.....what am i still doing =="
9th week of sem 1 in college life =D
still.. i'm wondering what did i done..
i enjoy more then i study = ="
that is a real fact..
i pity someone...
for a far-distance relationship really suffering ..
depends on both of them ....
if one decide to end...
bye bye the 'attach status' at facebook XD!
Why am i so random today.......
i been thinking ..and thinking.... and listening song..
pop...to rock...and even jazz ...
found in my hardrive =="
VIruS found ~ deleted
Porn found ~ hidden in some folder
Picture found ~ soon to be uploaded in facebook
== what am i crapping today
HEY MY CARD READER SPOILT... kris...can you buy for me =D
still.. i'm wondering what did i done..
i enjoy more then i study = ="
that is a real fact..
i pity someone...
for a far-distance relationship really suffering ..
depends on both of them ....
if one decide to end...
bye bye the 'attach status' at facebook XD!
Why am i so random today.......
i been thinking ..and thinking.... and listening song..
pop...to rock...and even jazz ...
found in my hardrive =="
VIruS found ~ deleted
Porn found ~ hidden in some folder
Picture found ~ soon to be uploaded in facebook
== what am i crapping today
HEY MY CARD READER SPOILT... kris...can you buy for me =D
Thursday, July 9, 2009
As time past by = ="
Yeah if you were wondering another emotional post...i might think it is 50-50 true =D
years passed by damn fast, as i learnt quite some stuff...
but why i just cant get any better then the past of me? college life quite fun, and also fustrated as more and more assignments are coming in...........yes...i may did the most in my group...but only 2 of us..and i know that my partner will face trouble if he does it..so i take the risk of doing his part... so that it would be easier for him...i'm still kind ==" but i can be evil as i want... if i really wan...
beside, being a treasurer is also 30% survive ==" as no one will listen to me.... cause if i open my mouth..they know what i want...
im the youngest in the class...=D...err but i am not being called as a kid =X.... pity that someone among my course mate being called as kid...well he is quite cute too and have a funny character...(ps...i not gay)
Pingu... i still love you XD...after all i did wrong..you still forgive me...and i dint even manage to improve myself well...haiz...i just wish i can be the perfect one for you..............
hey kirs........i miss you XD
years passed by damn fast, as i learnt quite some stuff...
but why i just cant get any better then the past of me? college life quite fun, and also fustrated as more and more assignments are coming in...........yes...i may did the most in my group...but only 2 of us..and i know that my partner will face trouble if he does it..so i take the risk of doing his part... so that it would be easier for him...i'm still kind ==" but i can be evil as i want... if i really wan...
beside, being a treasurer is also 30% survive ==" as no one will listen to me.... cause if i open my mouth..they know what i want...
im the youngest in the class...=D...err but i am not being called as a kid =X.... pity that someone among my course mate being called as kid...well he is quite cute too and have a funny character...(ps...i not gay)
Pingu... i still love you XD...after all i did wrong..you still forgive me...and i dint even manage to improve myself well...haiz...i just wish i can be the perfect one for you..............
hey kirs........i miss you XD
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Tomorrow is .......some college mass call =X
Yup, mass call....... and I wonder what shall I do there ?
Went out with pingu again...this time shopping time =D...
What we buy is non of your concern =D...
But in the end we just do nothing at home ....
blah blah skip this part =D
Well this morning ( as in 4 AM ) there is a new desktop...meant for my father...way much more high tech then my current desktop ... so nice, so cool, so interesting but still i loved my own desktop set..no matter how worst it is now, cause I been using it for a lot of own thing.... entertainment, work , pleasure and more. Moreover, I finished watching season 4 of prison break....and I feel a bit scary.. brain tumor...nose bleed....hey I always nose bleed....ever since form 4 .....
(Interrupted by pingu call.....really a fat pig....sleep again)
after that fear hunt me.....out of the sudden I felt like hunting a song to hear...and a friend of mine gave me wrong title.......as i only know the chorus part of the song....and cost me 4 hours hunting that song in youtube, baidu and qihoo... yes it is a chinese song...=D and I'm a banana that why it take so long for me to hunt a chinese song = =" . I should use that amount of time to sleep...much more better...but what to do? my elder bro fought with his girlfriend and now apart for a moment - -" that why he is back home and booming his love story song - -
Went out with pingu again...this time shopping time =D...
What we buy is non of your concern =D...
But in the end we just do nothing at home ....
blah blah skip this part =D
Well this morning ( as in 4 AM ) there is a new desktop...meant for my father...way much more high tech then my current desktop ... so nice, so cool, so interesting but still i loved my own desktop set..no matter how worst it is now, cause I been using it for a lot of own thing.... entertainment, work , pleasure and more. Moreover, I finished watching season 4 of prison break....and I feel a bit scary.. brain tumor...nose bleed....hey I always nose bleed....ever since form 4 .....
(Interrupted by pingu call.....really a fat pig....sleep again)
after that fear hunt me.....out of the sudden I felt like hunting a song to hear...and a friend of mine gave me wrong title.......as i only know the chorus part of the song....and cost me 4 hours hunting that song in youtube, baidu and qihoo... yes it is a chinese song...=D and I'm a banana that why it take so long for me to hunt a chinese song = =" . I should use that amount of time to sleep...much more better...but what to do? my elder bro fought with his girlfriend and now apart for a moment - -" that why he is back home and booming his love story song - -
Thursday, May 14, 2009
dotz
great I can't sign in my Live Messanger account at my own computer ... how sad = ="
assume that no one miss me =D
just went to TarC and toke a form =D
want to change course =X
and now just bugging how to sign in my msn = =
assume that no one miss me =D
just went to TarC and toke a form =D
want to change course =X
and now just bugging how to sign in my msn = =
Hey ! = ="
Dewar's Awesome Foursome Challange 2009.....
what do I know from there?
free whisky , goodies.... and some money from there =D
*Ops I'm underage to drink , but who cares...lets drink =D and don't be caught by parent !
well yesterday I went back to P.T.u.T ...
and what? ...... Tilak Ane asked me that I still alive ka?
like around 6 months I never went back there....
cause too lazy to go there...
and also don't feel like going there...
cause remind me of some event =D
Don't want tell you what happen =X
Busy dated booked =
1) 29 May (Fri) - Templart Park
2) 20 June (Sat) - Orna ( I'm not going this one...I going P.D)
3) 10 July (Fri) - Tropicana
4) 15 Aug (Sat) - Bukit Jambul (Penang here I comes =D)
5) 12 Sept (Sat) - Plam Resort (Johor)
6) 2 Oct (Fri) - Gading Raya (Jakarta =X)
7) 30 Oct (Fri) - Dalit Bay ( KK, I must go =D)
8) 20 Nov (Fri) - Kota Permai
AND
9) 17 Dec (Thu) - KL Golf & Country Club
what do I know from there?
free whisky , goodies.... and some money from there =D
*Ops I'm underage to drink , but who cares...lets drink =D and don't be caught by parent !
well yesterday I went back to P.T.u.T ...
and what? ...... Tilak Ane asked me that I still alive ka?
like around 6 months I never went back there....
cause too lazy to go there...
and also don't feel like going there...
cause remind me of some event =D
Don't want tell you what happen =X
Busy dated booked =
1) 29 May (Fri) - Templart Park
2) 20 June (Sat) - Orna ( I'm not going this one...I going P.D)
3) 10 July (Fri) - Tropicana
4) 15 Aug (Sat) - Bukit Jambul (Penang here I comes =D)
5) 12 Sept (Sat) - Plam Resort (Johor)
6) 2 Oct (Fri) - Gading Raya (Jakarta =X)
7) 30 Oct (Fri) - Dalit Bay ( KK, I must go =D)
8) 20 Nov (Fri) - Kota Permai
AND
9) 17 Dec (Thu) - KL Golf & Country Club
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
HelLo BloGy
Yes I din't update my blog.... quite sometimes..
Certain people bugged me before... and I ignored it..
Cause... I'm so damn lazy to type eversince my 16th Birthday passed..
What else?....
A lot things I learnt,
Mistakes that I committed,
Things that I din't wish to do, but I did it.
and more?
Anyway, I have a dog now.... a chiwawa...called JJ
dun't even know why my little brother named it that way.
but who cares? As long it stay away from my shoes,
I will be fine =D
Certain people bugged me before... and I ignored it..
Cause... I'm so damn lazy to type eversince my 16th Birthday passed..
What else?....
A lot things I learnt,
Mistakes that I committed,
Things that I din't wish to do, but I did it.
and more?
Anyway, I have a dog now.... a chiwawa...called JJ
dun't even know why my little brother named it that way.
but who cares? As long it stay away from my shoes,
I will be fine =D
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