bloggie...

what if you use something that been used before by your lover's ex
and by using it may help to contact each other easier.

i don't know what am i feeling now.
tomorrow i got trails, on account (i not sure i am taking or not)
and i still be like this.
sad, angry, jealousy?
one word, haiz...

becouse of my mistake,
i got to suffer some part to gain happiness izzit?
i don't want to suffer this pain anymore.
sometimes i really feel i'm not the right one for penguin.
yeah...
it's a normal feeling for everyone i guess,
i hope i can just pull out from this 'thing'






i so blur now,
i don't feel like sleeping now,
i just blur,
i don't even know how to say it out to penguin..
as i dun want hurt penguin,
but i sense that penguin is not feeling well,
haiz.

-_@'''

ARGH! ...
F*** THE PTUT TUITION CLASSES IM TAKING NOW..
i wish i can just stop T_T.
but i have been there like around 6 solid years..
well i know them well and they know me well
like brothers ^^
but sometime .. too over
exspecially additional mathematic and mathematic..
honesty...(i don't dare to be so open when i am in tuition)
that tutor don't know how to teach addidional math well..
man ... i always feel bored and try to get the right key to understand what he teach!
and come worst to worst..... my friend will ask me to teach and explain to him IN DETAIL when i trying to GET MY ASS OUT FROM THE MAZE....
..
now i am in deep ship i guess...
so blur....
so lost....
and i am envy of something...
but i don't even know what or why..

my tarot reading give me strange result..
King Of Wands
9-Chalices
10-Pentacles
6-Pentacles
10-Wands (upside down)
and Queen Of Sword (upside down)
..
what i know is ...
'i need someone to retain back my satisfaction or physical well-being and some gratification to obtain a sucess to overcome my dificult characteristic'

well i dun know what that mean acually XD..
but some part i feel like it true...
i am a type who people cant really understand me..
even me..

-_@'''

last post on 30 august 2008...where 31st?

Merdeka...
Negaraku....v.2.0 (if you play GG client...in D.O.T.A RPG Room 1(Malaysia) you will see it..)
Najib special skill....-----> FINGER TO DEATH !!!!
and beside..
31st august.... went out ..
1) Tuition
2)JLN Pudu Indian Temple (Tuition anual examination prayers..i always go except last year)
3) Pavillion (bored!)
5) La Queen ( don't even ask me to go there again....i anti it)
6) Mamak....( the guy infront of me knew me..but i don't know until i chat with him just now !)
7) Penguin house (DON't FlY to youR ImAginaTion WoRLd thank...)

beside...i send a SMS... to my mum....and guess what
IT HELPS ALOT !!! (solve 50% only) - -
whether it last or not i don't even care ...

31 august...
sleep until 4p.m... woke up penguin fetch me back ..
and play GG Client!! the whole day and night XD
till 6...

1st september
woke up at 7....am - - One hour sleep......
went out eat bakuteh...but HAIZZZ
i can't bite hard today... damd spring in my mouth ...
and i went back and sleep again till 11am ..someone called...
'ARE YOU COMING OR NOT' = = " ..
disturbmy sweet dream T_T....

12.45..went out to kfc seri gombak (whos idea is that....wrong kfc place)
then we talk and crap and went mc donald buy something cold to eat XD

afterday went wangsa maju to meet penguin then the end for now

i lazy type XD

Even Butterfly Uses Public Transport!

woke up at 10.15 in the morning ...wondering ...what is going on in school today XD!
most of my friend plans not to come school today...

SMK HILLCREST --->BORING

and the saddest part of today that my Singh friend.....grandmother passes away..
and guess what.. he was in joy as he can escape from the so called 'MOTIVATION TALK' yesterday..... stupid Singh...

and yeah..
today i went penguin house alone again by the rapid kl public transport...
and lucky me..
there are bus moving just in time XD
thinking why today im so lucky..
usually i will wait for ages..
well
basically....i go penguin house... to sleep XD most of the time..
the rest all is non of your concern
....

Tomorrow... dont know want to go prayers or follow penguin go out --"

one week holiday over...die me..

there will be a few days holiday before my exam..... just one or two days only
this will be the last long school break for me .. and after that ....the longest break...
but one thing for sure...
i din't study that well XP
Went out to Sg. Wang and enter Lau Yat....
with Tuna ..and her big fat lap top which fit in just nice in my bag..
and before that trip happen.....
i fed up on someone and decided to move on without any regret...
but then i got back with penguin ..
as what my tarot reading predicted..
but there is still something bad will happen.
that might pull me back...
if i manage to overcome it , i may be forever with penguin XD
if not... total opposite i guess... (i don't wan to open this card reading)..
and i think i am suffering it now....
may take sometime for me to overcome it ALONE!
to my latest ex:

'F''K OFF MAN...MY LIFE MY DECISION...YOUR LIFE IS A BITCH AND DUN GO AROUND
TELL PEOPLE NOT TO COMMUNICATE WITH ME...little kid...even worst than
Britney....'

Okie i guess i am starting to have some emo-characteristic...
i cut my hand...but not that deep..and don't even scare of the pain there..
when i cut, i feel it helps to cover the sadness that i suffer.....even though is a stupid way...
and yeah.....Tuna and I ..criticize the way 'gays' wear in Sg.Wang.... so stupid...XP.....

Am I a good person anyway?

im hungry.......

damn the guy who created vista...
need to installation cd to reformat...
..
reformatted my computer already..
and now im using one of my dad's 3 laptop.... HP Pavilion..
jealous already...
my small brother use up rm 300 for GPRS services... how nice..
even i can't afford to use a gprs service...
argh don't care about it..
well at least i know im free...
wishing that no one can control me at all
either telling where am i or what am i doing..
im blur now..
i don't even know what should i do next.....
remain?
i guess no way!..........
my stupid elder brother ....
brought back another HP Pavilion and play C.Strike..
i did play and i was a noobie that time..
as i supposed to study...
tomorrow my dad will be flying to indonesia...
work...work... with another lap top..
but i don't know how many day he will be away..
neither what will he do there too..
- don't care-
i ran out of chocolate powder....
and deleted some songs...
accidently......
anyway i don't know what to write in here..

I miss playing R.Y.L

it been like few years i missed the best mmorpg game i played in my life...
every time i start playing new online game... i will get bored and eventually stop halfway...like maple (early 2007)...i stopped at level 33 ARCHER and level 30 beginner which contains..expensive in-game items(my small bro went in and steal everything i guess)... then much more ..... online game i play till lv 25 and below...
i found it very bored...
but now i already play cabal.. till lv 60 force ARCHER
and perfect world... elf ARCHER...till lv 38..
Yeah ARCHER... my favorite in-game job..
it all started from one single online game..
Risk Your Life... R.Y.L ......
i played ARCHER.. and warrior and enchanter and the last is cleric... the last i know archer is over level 80, warrior is over lv 50 wizard is lv 76 and cleric lv 65
the cleric character is the last job i played after the release of R.Y.L 2 in 2004 i guess.... from there onwards.... R.Y.L becomes a commercial server... which need to pay to play T_T...
but it doesn't stop me from buying reload point card and top it up always...till one day i really really broke.......that the time i stop playing RYL...
and usally i play RYL with my brothers...Jansen and Jonsen... we train...together
kill (Player VS Player... usally i won the most eventhough i was the lowest character in the family) each other.... trap each other... and rob each other equipment...if one of us left the ID online... but after that... we stopped.. and the only online game we ever play together that long.. is RYL beside then rangarok..... only me and my elder brother played that time... now only i and my younger brother play online game... but i stopped playing online game and shift my interest to D.O.T.A online... (now i am noob as it has been awile i stop playing cause of someone dislike me playing...)..i hope someday someone will create a new game same as RYL.... not ATLANTIC....like ts online - -" and a bit of final fantasy..

www.ryl.com.my

how many months i din't blog?....1 month?

Oh yeah.. tuna... i just blogged... so u can know that i just blogged ...ROLF..
Online games...ARGH... WHAT THE HECK IM STILL PLAYING ONLINE GAME.. SOMEONE FORCE ME TO STUDY!!!..
ihatelifenow.

Worst thing worst...
i am doing my add math exercise...
and when i almost done.. i realise ..all WRONG = ="
how lucky am i... I HATE YOU LOGARITHMS..
im weak in studies now T_T..

my mum now happily talking to my elder brother friends who are here making and refurnish her beautiful room now....
and
she ask me wan to do anything to my room - -
' PLEASE LEAVE MY MESSY ROOM...I LOVE TO BE IN A MESS!' :P

Mum+Dad(Other Girl)=Divorce?

lolz... just only yesterday...mum found out that dad like to FOOL around TOO much outside... with girls...and... got into big fight....and say want to divorce each other soon..
yeah... i know my dad does that....(i know even more stuff then my mum actually...'MAYBE')..
when they argue.. me just sit quietly...play online game...and chat with my lover..
and i don't give a damn if they want divorce... (cuz i knew it wont happen that early.....)
and johnsen can't non-stop sleeping happily....(he is a big idiot)
then i went in and disturb the fight.....
eventually make a big fool out of my dad.. and mum laugh behind me...
dad don't scare to scold me......if he do.... my mum guaranty that he wont be even know how to write the word 'DEATH' in chinese......so he quietly sit down and do his work...while i help my mum carring stuff... and even chat with my mum... and even pack up her jewelries ... and even wore it for fun....
what more i got a new wallet ...and no one knows that cuz i forgot that i brought it yesterday too ^^v

TODAY..
everything back to normal..
Mum+Dad(-Other Girl)=FINAL CHANCE.....
and dad even promist her to buy a ring..
WEDDING ring... as they started off with a simply ring..
at first i thought my dad have no money cuz been cheated before by a failure bunessman(my aunt's EX-husband)...(if i found him... he sure be dead soon)..
total that he cheated ..
Dad = RM 250k
Aunt = more then RM 200k and love + job...and conversion of islam too...
how pity...
but everything goes fine now...
as it already been like years ago..(hope that idiot die in any accident too)
Oh..
this is the first time i tell the root to all problem in my family that openly..
usally i will keep it to myself....
forget about that..
now i facing another problem..
too much online gaming and smsing..i don't understand why times flies that fast..
and i just calculate... if i dun study that certain subjects now
i will fail..
if i push..
Account = B
Math = A
+Math = C/B
Moral = D
Physics = D/C
English = A ... GCE= B
Chemistry = C
EST = A
History = C
B.Malaysia = B
This will be the result if i just push abit..(as what im doing now)
and now i think i better push as hard as i can...
mum knows what happen to me..
....
im thinking way too much..
my problem+studies+love+family = 101% STRESS.