Blank

just wondering...a thing,
thinking of it day by day,
but didn't realise what is the reason,
for me to discover what am i thinking,
every time when i feel one kind,
i always think of it,
but,
when can i stop thinking of it?
why did i do it the first place?
lost of my self-confident?
or just wan to have fun?
i feel like i'm not right always,
when i am beside you,
i feel it,
feel strange and secured at the same time,
for what i did,
you forgive,
but for what you did,
i blame it on me,
i'm the one who cost all this misery,
from the start,
and i willing to change,
just for you,
cause i can't afford to lose you anymore,
as i did experince bad,
hurting moments when i lost you,
like a baby who lose it mother,
keep on crying,
but i did my best,
to hide all my tears,
as though i don't give a damn on it,
but deep in my heart,
the cold and painful heart,
keep pumping sending a message,
that i still need you,
to warm me up,
i need you,
sounded like i'm just a selfish person,
who just want you by myself,
and not letting you go even a metre away,
if do,
i feel that my life is unsecured,
and keep on falling,
i'm sorry,
i know,
sorry is just a word,
which can't change anything,
but now i learn my mistake,
and you,
only you,
is who i need.