??....Random?

Wondering what am I to you now. I'm confused, and even I don't even know how to face it well. I wonder when i broke up with you, some of my ex find me back...... and new people that want to chase me ....even they didn't see me in real before, and there is one special now..... but I'm not that ready.... afraid that I might use this feel just to replace the missing feel when I'm with you. What is special in me? Why people like me where you just used me?.... I keep confusing myself... YOU ARE GONE... .... forever..? or temporary?....seconds ago? or years apart?.....There are times where I said to myself....Pingu.... Pingu.... where are you now? How are you?............................then I just knock off my mind thinking that PINGU HAD GONE! PLEASE DON'T THINK OF IT ANYMORE!
Hurtful moment when my mind against my emotional.....

Two papers failed, ES1 and Math 2, as I get my result and it does not effect any of my feelings. I just felt hurt when I think of you and your voice is like a poison to my emotional... I remember you keep asking..."Cant you just skip today class...just to accompany me....I needed you", yeah I wish to,... but then what do I pay for? skipping class or educational.....I know you do not need to study... no need to go college as you so easily give up on your studies... but you didn't think about me.....maybe you really need me.....and I KNOW THAT FEELING IS JUST TEMPORARY TILL THERE SOMEONE THERE HUGGING YOU AND DO WHATEVER THING YOU ALWAYS DO....this is what I though of.. to avoid letting myself to see you ...but sadly it just kills my mood to study when I'm in class.

Until Now

Till now, you may not like it as I just wan to be your friend, better than nothing rite? I do not want us to be close like the days before, you keep finding me and do "activities", who knows maybe you are up for it that seeking me to accompany you. I remember that you said I will be a talk to you among your friends, or izzit there is other reason that you do not want to follow you to clubbing? You want do what activities you do there, I don't give a damn to you cause we broke up already. SO what the point?

You told me you feel very comfortable when I'm around, but for me it is an up and down feeling feeling for me as I do not want to worry nor care about you... I'm trying to move on. You care mostly for yourself but rarely care about me.

My Intake = ="

Materials & Manufacturing Engineering, I wonder did you guys ever heard of this course or job. In TarC this weird course is about materials used to produce products all round you and the study of the advantages and the disadvantages of selecting that particular materials in manufacturing a product. (can be even condom)

DMT... more likely to be known the most united course (as in helping each other or in terms of communication) in TarC. My intake consist of 27 student with different ages... yet I'm still the youngest of all =D... sadly in term of mentality , some kid is younger than me.

Beside there is 2 more student who is the same "kind" as me..... I was thinking that, so small course got at least 3 PLU already - -" . Of course one is Panda' ex who need helps but do let in any aids given by us. The main problem with him is that HE ALSO DON'T HELP HIMSELF, therefore we ignore him when he needed help or something related to him.

The another person... kinda like me..and it is scary that he is also one of the top student in class..... and weird in a way ... but still he help us a lot by contributing all his maths answer to us =D

Overall everything seems ok yet I don't really know why I choose this course as there is no Chemical Engineering in TarC ~

Nuisance

Siting down one corner and just listening to sad song as tears just flow down like a flowing tap which loses it tap. I seems like I don't learn, I am an NUISANCE to you.... ... why in the world I want to let you in back?... after me for a time sure u get bored and dump me ...scare I become a 'thing' for your friend to talk about you... what you care is yourself. Miss me, a big fake la..... but I still love you.. and treating all this is my wrong... why?

Please Kin..take over your emotion and do not let it happen again .... haiz..
Why everything have to happen like this... It is not I'm hoping for anyway...
Thanks to everybody who cares.. but I really don't know what to do

Happy CNY & Valentine along ~

The first day of Chinese New Year, should be a happy and wonderful day for everyone who celebrate it and with conjunction of Valentine Day~ especially with the present of the love ones beside them.....

As for me, I don't really felt the atmosphere as I felt very lonely yet it is quite sad as there is nothing I can do even with the present of relatives, I still feel lonely for the first time ever I celebrated CNY. Yet I still thinking about you... How are you?

Haiz.. I still cant stop thinking about you. Life just go on and on.

Kin

I'm Kin... a silly boy who always get himself in trouble always and there is no cure to it. Your answer, may sound shaky but it is your decision. I really don't know who I'm really am. Every single night, thinking of the next day, how will it be without it. Every single moment, pretending to be cheerful, just hoping others to smile back and deep inside me is just the pain that I held inside.
I'm not like this. I should be what other people said, happy, cheerful, and enjoy life, but it seems like I'm just sad, scared and disappointed every single moment. Some friend really tried to cheer me up, but not really as I don't like to drag my friend along to my own sorrow.

Hmm.... Pity

I do not even know how Jay Jay got its chain stuck between the gap of its basket and tighten it...causing it to chock on it own... and if I were just one minute late, it sure go heaven T_T....... and lucky I decide to stay back at home ALONE....... if not habis...... no one were to help it .... anyhow lucky its ok...even tough I do not really know why so many blood bleeding out from its mouth.

People Like Us

Come to think about the presentation that I did actually presented in front of my course mate, I feel it is quite interesting as I'm sure out of 100 .. maybe 4-5 people will choose this topic "PLU" NOT PLY OR GLU...its "P"eople "L"ike "U"s, and I do wonder how this name can be form. Maybe it the small group of PLUs that decided to name them this =D.

My outline:~~

Introduction: PLU is a term for Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transsexual (LGBT) of Singapore and Malaysia.

Content:

i. Roles

a) Top – The masculine figure of the relationship. (assertive, protective)

b) Bottom – The feminine figure of the relationship. (passive, receiving)

ii. Appearance & Attitude

a) Varied personalities, as expected in any society; straight-acting, soft, conscious of appearance, predatory, etc.

b) It is assumed one side of a lesbian relationship is more daring than the other, more openly masculine. Affirming with top role.

c) Homosexual male are usually more accepted by females than males.

d) Most are friendly, due to always trying to avoid hostility with others, due to less acceptance in society, which will be covered later .

e) Usually would try to expand their social network, though the internet/meetings, as the gay community is small and isolated in smaller towns and cities in the country.

iii. Rejection

a) Mostly disapproved by society, family and many religions.

b) With the unproven notion that homosexual men are the cause of higher rate in the spread of HIV/AIDS.

c) Due to this, PLU are not willing to expose their identities, and therefore ‘stay in the closet’.

Conclusion: It is the 21^st century. In order to further support the modernization of the world and it’s societies, people should start accepting others for who they are, and not conform to discrimination against certain individuals who are different. They are still human.

In fact I did admit myself as a PLU as I'm really a Bisexual in front of the whole course mate... and they got impress....and lucky I did not loses any friends =D.

As for the teacher comments....

She said I have influence of mother tongue.. Do I speech like a Chinese? Maybe .. and I score 24/30 .. not bad for a loud voice and interesting topic that got all attention. Anyhow , I do not feel disgusted when I admit that I'm PLU.... as I'm so open minded..... Not that open . =D

Thank to Joe helping me in this topic too....
Zen I did mention you in my presentation... you're famous already.

Stars~

Each star i fold, I actually thinking back the past. Sweet and bitter memories mixed along make me feel how silly am I when I was young. When I was a kid, each star I fold perfectly make me feel so happy ... and will get over excited with it.... and repeat the same scenario when I did it again and again XD..

It was so cute that time.....
Now each stars I fold may have a message inside, its like I'm treating it as a locket to keep my trouble away and it does help me feel better after writing the feeling down on a strap of paper and just fold it on.. making me feel much more ease up.

Sometimes the stars I fold with meaning.. I will just give it out even it carries painful memories of mine to my friends and who knows, they won't open the stars rite =D and the memories just go off like that.